Untangling Anxiety
Are you the parent/carer of a child aged 3-11 who struggles to regulate their feelings, worries a lot, feels anxious and has fears? Maybe they have difficulty sleeping, experience nightmares and struggle to concentrate. Perhaps they struggle with separation and don't like being alone.
Anxiety is a typical and expected response to a threat, and some stress and anxiety are necessary, even helpful. It keeps us safe and motivates us to take action or work hard to meet a goal. However, too much anxiety, or anxiety that feels out of control, can take a toll on our health and well-being.
Anxiety starts to become a problem when:
It is more intense and lasts longer than you would expect
When it comes up more frequently and feels out of control
When it starts to affect any aspect of your general well-being and everyday life, including but not limited to enjoyment, sleep, appetite, socialising, work, school or learning.
How does it present?
Anxiety can present itself in many different ways, and the reasons behind the BIG feelings may not always be clear. Here are some examples of the three main areas of anxiety that we often see in children and how they present:
Some children's anxiety is fear-based - this could present as separation anxiety, social anxiety, selective mutism, health anxiety, agoraphobia and specific worries (for example, dogs, school, etc.)
Some children's anxiety is high functioning - which comes from low confidence and self-esteem. It presents itself through children setting unrealistic expectations of themselves, having a fear of failing and being a perfectionist. They often overthink and are self-critical, feeling "not good enough.” These feelings can lead to children becoming people pleasers, not wanting to let anyone down and often experiencing burnout, as they fit too much into their day and are usually afraid to say no.
Some children's anxiety comes from emotional overwhelm - which presents itself as tantrums and emotional outbursts. Children who are more susceptible to this are considered highly sensitive, and those with a social and emotional developmental delay/ or low emotional intelligence.
Children can seemingly go from 0 to 10 over anything. These emotional outbursts may be frequent and severe and appear out of context with the situation. The child may find it difficult to name what brings the feeling to the surface and cannot control their behaviours. Outbursts can include crying, shouting, screaming, banging, or throwing objects and, in extreme cases, may result in lashing out or physical aggression.
It is important to remember that within these three different forms of anxiety, every child displays their feelings differently. Some children become frustrated and angry when they feel anxious. Other children become withdrawn, and some become distraught with fear.
Our feelings are just as individual as we are.
Understanding how it presents for you and your children is essential so you can learn how to reduce the feelings rather than feeding them and making them more prominent.
How do we help?
This program is designed for parents/carers and children aged 3-11 to support children's mental health and well-being. This six-phase program will equip your children with various colourful resources, activities, and games to become a Feelings Detective®. You will also gain the knowledge, understanding, and strategies needed to be their Emotional Coach. It's all about having fun, learning, and growing together through play.
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"Absolutely brilliant. Life-changing. I got so much more out of it than I expected. Varied group of people. Such a sense of camaraderie between the women. I wouldn’t have said I was an anxious person but realised I am at present because of what I’ve been through. Jodie gives so much more than just the zoom calls. She speaks to us after the sessions. I like the follow up emails. I still feel physically tired but I am mentally clearer. I’m noticing how I’m dealing with things differently. For example if I have a bad morning I’m able to have a cry and deal then continue – ordinarily that would have ruined the whole day. Now I’m able to manage it. I went back to work and don’t know if I would have got here without the course. I called Jodie one day very upset to say I couldn’t find the positive in the situation on a rough day. She told me you don’t need to, you just need to feel the feeling. This has really helped me start to find some acceptance for my circumstances.”
“Jodie was patient, supportive and clear. She has a fantastic rapport with children and my 7yr old has gained so much from just 5 sessions with her. I could not recommend her enough! Thank you Jodie.”
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"One of the girls from Family group was on the course. We usually sit at opposite sides of the room. We are now able to have the children play together. I think the children think ‘if our Mums are able to talk to each other – then we must be able to play with each other’. I’ve now got the confidence to start talking to other parents. I didn’t think I was going to get as much out of that course as I have done. Since my son had a sickness bug in October he hasn’t been back in his bed, he is scared in-case he vomits and has been in my bed since. Lots of people on the course seemed to be struggling getting their child to sleep. We started Jodie’s stepladder approach & he went from 8.30pm to 7 in the morning in his own bed! Even last night he woke at midnight for a Mummy hug and wee – came back and went to his own bed! Until 8am! Jodie was great. I was stuck at home with us with Covid. No way would I have been able to cope but I not only coped, I planned activities and enjoyed time with my son.”
“Jodie was incredible. She worked with my 3 year old daughter and I to address anxieties around sleep and going to the toilet. Over the course of our six sessions, my daughter’s behaviour changed before my eyes. I developed the tools to help reframe her thinking and to support her worries, which - in turn - brought us even closer together. The tools Jodie gave us changed our lives and I cannot recommend working with her more. She is absolutely wonderful and left a big impression on our family - my daughter still talks about how great she is! Thank you!”
Course Details
Our Managing Anxiety, working through Worries and Fears program consists of 6 unique phases:
Phase one:
They are getting to know the clues to our feelings and the feelings of others. They think about feelings in terms of facial expressions, body language, and behaviours and can label and identify them, building self-awareness, acceptance, and empathy. This includes understanding anxiety, worries, and fears, how they work, and the difference between anxiety and stress.
Phase two:
Putting feelings into context, we consider why they may have come to the surface. There are no good or bad feelings, but sometimes, the thoughts and behaviours we attach to our feelings can be helpful or unhelpful, making the feelings bigger or smaller. Through this session, we explore some techniques to help us feel more in control and make healthy choices in the future.
Phase three:
Introducing mindfulness and learning all about feeling good on the inside. We start to imagine what it would look and feel like if these feelings weren’t so big anymore, mapping out all the things standing in our way and starting to build our ‘steps to success.’ We then work through our worries and fears, hoping to overcome them.
Phase four:
We are exploring our internal feelings and volcanoes - building emotional self-regulation and impulse control. We learn what it looks like when we are grounded and feeling good. We know how to see that we are starting to bubble and what happens when our volcano erupts. An essential part of this phase is understanding our triggers and how to spot the early warning signs of our feelings. We then think about how to spot and pop the bubbles to avoid erupting and return to feeling grounded.
Phase five:
How can we look after our feelings and the feelings of others? This is about looking after our emotional cups and being a bucket filler to fill the cups of others. This session explores social skills, prosocial behaviours, kindness, and how to communicate our thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, and wishes effectively, particularly during conflict.
Phase six:
The importance of sharing our superpowers and shining our light. This session is all about bringing the learning together and realising that our feelings are just as individual as we are. Celebrating everything that we have learnt and all that we are.
Pay as you need, drop in support starts from £80 for a 1 hour session
Our full bespoke packages start from £450
We are based in St Albans, Hertfordshire and offer local in person support together with nationwide support online via Zoom
Helping children SHINE through school
Our program has been carefully designed to support the Government guidelines for the National Curriculum and Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) and children’s individual Social, Emotional and Mental Health needs.
Support is available for children aged 3-11 years old, and some examples of how we work with children in education and the community are:
Full classes of up to 30 children for one hour a week for 12 weeks
12-week block of sessions for focus groups of up to 8 children, focusing on more specific needs and challenges
After-school clubs for children in Years 1-6
30-minute breakfast clubs, getting the children ready for the day
30-minute lunchtime clubs
Staff INSET training sessions
Whole-school wellbeing days, with each class experiencing an emotional wellbeing workshop
One-off emotional well-being sessions for Brownies, Scouts, etc.
12-week blocks of sessions with private Nurseries
Proud to be working for a brighter future
With Home-start Hertfordshire
We work with many charities and community groups, facilitating workshops, parenting sessions and staff training in person and via Zoom.
This six-week course was delivered to a small group of five parents through weekly one-hour sessions online via Zoom. It ran on a termly basis, four times over one year.
Supporting wellbeing
Before the start of the course, all attendees were asked to complete a well-being questionnaire. This contained 15 questions about their anxiety, how it impacts their daily life, ability to socialise, enjoyment of things, confidence, general happiness, contentment, and overall well-being. They were asked to score each question from 1 to 5, with one meaning none and 5 meaning all of the time.
Measuring outcomes
After the course, all attendees were asked to complete the same well-being questionnaire again. There was marked improvement on every questionnaire, ranging from 9 points to 17. The main improvement areas were reduced anxiety, worries, and fear, improved ability to manage stress, concerns, and fears, increased confidence, feeling happier, more content, and wanting to socialise and do things more.
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“What can I say, Jodie has been amazing for my me and my daughter. We went to Jodie as my daughter had a severe dog phobia that was affecting our lives considerably. We had tried everything. Jodie met with me free of charge to discuss the issues we were having and what her potential involvement could be. We decided to go for it and after one session we had no regrets, my daughter had already started the process of being ‘ok’ or ‘accepting’ of dogs after one session. We worked through Jodie’s process along with our zoom sessions with Jodie and to my absolute shock, my daughter is now able to go to the park, beach, woods, and have dogs running around off the lead, which if you had ever seen this experience previously you would know what a massive transformation this is. Jodie was kind, patient and very engaging with both me and my daughter. She didn’t only teach my daughter but she taught me how to react in these situations. Highly recommend to anyone with a child experience a phobia or general anxiety issues.”
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"My daughter has really been struggling with her anxiety and it has been heartbreaking not knowing how to help her. We have been waiting 18 months for CAMHS so far, but I have already been told that we are likely to be turned down for support as "she is not sick enough!" I had an initial consultation with Jodie and explained my situation and that I could never afford the 1:1 package. She kindly offered to help us, giving me training, resources, tools and strategies through sessions on a pay as you go basis. She has literally saved my family when we were at crisis point and everyone else just turned their heads to us. She's a true angel on earth and I will never be able to thank her enough. xx"
"I found this group very helpful. the group size was great. I felt comfortable and Jodie made me feel very welcome and was very understanding. I was able to open up about a lot of things that were on my mind pressuring me and I feel so much better. I have learnt a lot and thats it is actually ok for me to feel the way I feel. I have learnt to turn more negatives into positives and found ways to deal with my issues better thank you so much for recommending me and thinking of me I am extremely grateful thanks again".
"Last night he slept in his bed until 7 this morn! I wouldn't have been able to do this without the tools you gave us. Thank you!"
"I'm far less angry now. I think behind my anger and frustration was actually anxiety and overwhelm. I feel calm and can say how I feel. The little things don't bother me anymore."
Our ultimate objective is to help children feel more equipped to cope with the pressures they face in this ever-increasing, fast-paced world. We want them to have more self-awareness and a greater understanding of others.
Resilience is developed when children have confidence in themselves and can manage their feelings healthily.
